Strange Ways
by radieoactive
Summary: Lucifer doesn't really understand humans. Like, at all.


Lucifer had tried to change his opinion on humans, but instead of it changing for the better, it went in the complete opposite direction.

He didn't understand most customs at first, and now, he was really confused. After Sam had introduced him to the internet, and, gasp, cell phones, he just couldn't wrap his head around the ideas. "Too complex," he would say, or, more frequently: "It's not worth my time." Sam had heard that one far too many times.

Going places was even worse. He would question everything, from the building structures to the people on the street. Although Sam hated to admit it, it was a bit frustrating taking Lucifer out to places. Like, really frustrating.

Sam had guessed that teaching Lucifer how to act like a human would be a bit like teaching a toddler algebra. Surprisingly, he was right.

"I don't get it." Lucifer said, tapping mindlessly at the iPhone in his hand. Another line Sam heard too often. "It's not working! Sam, fix it."

"Did you try actually waiting for it to load?" Sam answered, researching on his own laptop. Sam wanted to buy Lucifer his own, but Lucifer was strictly opposed to the idea. _Maybe it's for the better,_ Sam thought, as Lucifer had already gotten a virus on his computer and managed to delete some important files of Sam's. Technology just wasn't Lucifer's thing.

"Oh, nevermind." Lucifer said, his voice quiet. Sam smiled to himself.

To Sam, sometimes it wasn't frustrating seeing Lucifer toy with technology – it was actually kind of cute. Seeing an archangel try and figure out how to use Facebook? Too funny.

Since today was Saturday and Sam didn't have anything to do, he asked Lucifer to go out with him somewhere. Lucifer agreed.

It was cold outside. The breeze sent shivers down Sam's spine and he huddled closer to Lucifer, although it wouldn't do much help. Both of them didn't really know where they were going – they were just nonchalantly walking, enjoying the outdoors and each other.

Finally they were walking along a street and Lucifer started questioning things again. Sam didn't feel like complaining about it today, he was content and didn't want to ruin his own mood.

"Are you sure those buildings can even stand on their own? Sam?" Lucifer asked, and Sam looked over to the building in question. He nodded.

"Yeah. It looks really funny though, doesn't it?" Sam started playing with his sleeve and Lucifer turned his head to look at other buildings. Soon, they came across an outside mall and decided to go into it. Lucifer was looking every which way at everything, and Sam couldn't help but laugh a bit as he watched him.

"Sam, look! What's that kind of building?" Lucifer pointed to the large AMC theater, and he ran over to it. Sam followed.

Lucifer decided to start waiting in line for the ticket booth without even knowing it. When Sam caught up with him, he grabbed Lucifer's arm, catching his attention.

"What? Do you not want to go see a movie?" Lucifer asked, and Sam shrugged, then shaking his head.

"I didn't really plan on it," Sam answered. It was fine with him, honestly; he was usually open to ideas like these. Lucifer tugged Sam's jacket, pulling him along with him, away from the movie theater. "I wouldn't like to see a movie, then. Nothing appeals to me anyways." Sam nodded.

The two came across a restaurant that seemed alright to eat at, so they sat down at a table. Lucifer overlooked the menu multiple times, taking quite a while to decide what his meal would be – and finally, he told Sam he wanted the chicken strip meal. Sam ordered a seafood platter.

When the waiter came around, Lucifer asked her a plethora of questions – what date will the food expire, when it'll come, how much there is, etc. – and she tiredly answered. Sam gave her his order and Lucifer then asked for a milkshake, which Sam reluctantly bought him (he wasn't too keen on lots of calories in items).

They talked while waiting for their food, and Lucifer drew on napkins. He showed Sam his "art", which featured them holding hands, and a cat. After bugging Sam for drawing requests, Sam asked him to draw Dean, and he did so a bit crudely. Finally, the hot food came, along with Lucifer's milkshake.

Lucifer dug into his food, devouring it. Sam, on the other hand, ate his slowly, stopping once in a while to drink some water. After they both finished their meals (Lucifer finished his in about 5 minutes, then drawing some more, and after Sam finished) the waiter came by with a dessert menu in hand. Lucifer was immediately attracted to it, looking at the "colorful foods" and asking Sam to get him many of the items on it. Sam only agreed to get him a piece of chocolate cake.

The nicely made piece of cake came and Lucifer ate it in a surprising two bites. Sam watched, wide eyed and a little bit proud of him. They got their check after Lucifer drew more and stuffed his napkin-drawings into his pockets. While they both walked away, Sam saw some not-too-pleasant stares. Lucifer didn't seem to notice – or care, for that matter.

Sam stuffed his hands into his pocket and felt his iPhone, and an idea popped into his head. Taking the phone out, which was like a Tic Tac in his hands, he opened up the camera app, switching to the front camera mode and holding it in the air, snapping a picture of him and Lucifer. Lucifer blinked at the noise the phone made, looking over at Sam who was smiling.

"What did you just do?!" Lucifer asked, worriedly. Sam laughed in response.

"I took a picture of us, Lu." Lucifer nodded slowly and Sam pulled him closer, wrapping his arm around Lucifer. His breath came out in puffs, the cold atmosphere making it visible. Lucifer watched it, then breathing on his own.

"This is very unusual," Lucifer said to no one in particular, watching the oxygen fade away. Sam chuckled and leaned over to Lucifer, kissing him on the cheek.

Lucifer looked startled for a moment and Sam shivered a bit from the cold.

"I love you."


End file.
